I like to joke that my brain is a little like a browser with 47 tabs open and at least 20 of them are playing music I can’t locate.
But that’s only part of the story.
When you have both autism and ADHD, you’re not just multitasking, you are living in two different operating systems that sometimes run in harmony, sometimes crash spectacularly and often need constant troubleshooting.
I didn’t always have the words for it. I just knew I felt different. I noticed things other people didn’t, reacted more strongly to sounds or smells and had laser focus for my interests until I didn’t. I could spend six straight hours researching the history of one obscure topic, but struggle to reply to an email for weeks. I thought I was “broken” because of it.
It took years to understand: my brain wasn’t broken. It was just wired differently. And that difference had a name; actually, two.
The Double Whammy and the Double Gift
Autism and ADHD are both neurodevelopmental conditions, but they often show up in very different ways.
- Autism is like having a high-resolution lens on the world, one that’s incredibly sensitive to detail, patterns and nuance.
- ADHD is like having an overactive movie reel in your head that is fast-moving, full of ideas and always jumping between scenes.
Put them together and you get a brain that’s both deeply focused and easily distracted, highly sensitive yet restless, craving structure but rebelling against it.
Here’s what that looks like for me:
- I can spend hours perfecting a creative project, but I might forget to eat lunch.
- I can hear the faintest hum of a refrigerator and feel like it’s screaming at me, but I might miss my friend’s face turning sad during a conversation.
- I crave social connection but often get “people hangovers” after too much interaction.
It’s not always graceful. But it’s not always a disadvantage, either.
The Sensory Rollercoaster
One of the biggest challenges is sensory processing. For me, this means everyday environments can feel either overwhelmingly intense or oddly soothing, depending on the day.
- A bustling café might be the perfect ADHD-friendly workspace with all that ambient noise helps me focus.
- Or it might be pure hell for my autistic brain like the clinking cups, overlapping conversations and bright lights making my skin crawl.
People often assume sensory sensitivity is just about discomfort. But it’s also about pleasure. My autistic side can be transported by the smell of rain or the texture of a soft blanket in a way that feels almost euphoric. My ADHD side? It wants to chase that feeling and can spend an afternoon just looking for more of it.
The Social Puzzle
I have been told I’m “too much” and “too quiet” in the same week. That’s the paradox of autistic-ADHD social life.
Autism makes me prefer clear, honest communication. Small talk can feel like trying to play charades in a language I don’t speak. ADHD, meanwhile, can make me impulsively overshare because I’m excited, anxious or just trying to fill the silence.
It can be exhausting. But it’s also made me value deep, genuine friendships where I can drop the mask and be exactly who I am and where it’s okay if I talk about my latest obsession for twenty minutes straight or if I need to disappear for a while to recharge.
Executive Dysfunction: The Hidden Battle
If you have ever had a computer that takes forever to load one file but can run three complicated programs at once without blinking, you will understand my executive functioning.
I can tackle complex projects that fascinate me, that is no problem. But something as simple as “call the dentist” can feel like climbing Mount Everest without gear.
For me, executive dysfunction isn’t about laziness. It’s about initiation paralysis. My ADHD brain underestimates how long things will take and constantly seeks novelty. My autistic brain wants perfection and hates uncertainty. The result? I either start too many things at once or freeze entirely.
What helps is external scaffolding, tools like reminders, checklists and accountability partners. They keep me grounded when my brain wants to float away or dig too deep.
The Strengths No One Talks About
Yes, it’s challenging. But living with autism and ADHD isn’t just about struggle, it’s also about strength.
Here’s what I’ve learned to appreciate about my brain:
- Hyperfocus superpower. When I’m in the zone, I can learn skills or produce work in hours that might take others days.
- Pattern recognition. My autistic wiring helps me see hidden connections and solutions others miss.
- Creative problem-solving. ADHD gives me the ability to think outside the box sometimes so far outside the box, I’m building a whole new one.
- Empathy in my own way. I might not always read subtle social cues, but I feel deeply for people and want to help when I can.
These aren’t just coping mechanisms. They are assets, though it took me a long time to see them that way.
Learning to Work With, Not Against, My Brain
The biggest shift came when I stopped trying to “fix” myself and started learning how to work with my wiring.
- I structure my day around my energy levels, not the clock.
- I use sensory tools like noise-cancelling headphones, soft lighting to create an environment my brain can thrive in.
- I plan downtime on purpose so I don’t burn out from overstimulation.
- I have learned to tell people what I need instead of masking until I crash.
It’s not perfect. I still have days where my to-do list is untouched, my room’s a mess, and my brain feels like a glitching video game. But I have also learned to forgive myself for those days.
The Takeaway
Living with both autism and ADHD is messy, beautiful, frustrating and illuminating sometimes all in the same hour. It’s not a straight road. It’s more like a winding path with hidden gardens, sudden drop-offs and breathtaking views.
If you have this kind of brain, know this: you’re not broken. You are just wired differently. And while that wiring comes with challenges, it also comes with perspectives, skills and creativity the world needs.
The trick isn’t to become “normal.” It’s to become fluent in your own brain’s language and then speak it unapologetically.
